I recently discussed some of my all-time favorite music videos that have appeared on MTV and VH1. This got me feeling nostalgic for the days when I used to spend an entire weekend watching The Real World, 120 Minutes, and Singled Out. So, I flipped over to MTV and I was greeted with a mini-marathon of RUN’s HOUSE. Run’s House? You’ve got to be kidding me. This show isn’t “Run’s House” as in TOUGHER THAN LEATHER, this is “Run’s House” as in softer than a baby blanket. Say it isn’t so. Man, Peter Piper picked peppers, but Run rocked rhymes. He didn’t do shows that make the Hills look like feats of production in reality television.
Watching this show is painful and it makes me want to burn my Adidas in effigy. It’s going to take me months of serious KING OF ROCK and RAISING HELL therapy to help me get through this. You know, Rev. Run I didn’t care when Vanilla Ice was on the Surreal Life, or that MC Hammer became a televangelist, but this has killed my respect for the Silver Age of Hip Hop. I kind of expected to see MC Serch (or any other member of 3rd Bass) appearing on wackasstastic rap inspired shows. And I couldn’t care less that Luther “Luke” Campbell now has a Run’s House knock off show. He hasn’t been on my radar since he lost his lawsuit with George Lucas and had to drop “Skywalker” from his name.
But what’s next? A Tribe Called Quest for the Next Lame Reality Show or Big Daddy’s House of Kane? When does it end?
Rev. Joseph. Run. Mr. Simmons. I know your brother sold his soul to the devil of horrible urban fashion a long time ago, but you can’t let him and his exquisitely tittied wife bring you and your ride-or-die wife down to the hell of bad television. If you think you’re such a compelling and entertaining celebrity personality, then why not take the Will Smith, Ice Cube, and 50 Cent route and go into the movie biz. I really think you would have the part of Run if the movie DEF JAM: 25 YEARS LATER ever gets the green light.
And have you even watched your show? I can practically hear the director yelling “ACTION!” and “CUT” at the beginning and ending of each scene. Run, you’re a legend. You couldn’t possibly be doing this for the money. Hulk Hogan needed the money. Nobody wants to see a 70 year old man in yellow spandex wrestling anymore, but people will always listen to RUN DMC when they want to get back to the roots of rap music. At this point you’re like the Pete Rose of rap. You had a great career. One that you could have lived off of until you died, but you gambled and you ruined your legacy. Sure, you’re going to get into all of the hall of fames that VH1, the MTV Music Awards, and the Disney Channel want to dream up, but how can you look into the mirror without it screaming, “Flavor Flaaaaaaaaav”, back at you?
